Thusly:

I admit it, I'm thinking about signing up for Twitter.

justin:

Someone, please, talk me out of this idea. Or into it.

do it and i whup the fuckin’ tar outta yr ass. seriously. i will beat you to within an inch of your life if you jump on that elementary school level slumberparty circle jerk. if you sign up and i see you pulling out your shitty little motorola razr every 45 fucking seconds to check tweets i will cave your brittle little skull in with a paving stone or length of iron pipe. don’t test me on this shit justin, i will kill you boneyard dead.

let michelle use it, it suits her just fine. but you: do it and i pledge your death by mine own two hands.