∞ 3-Aug 08

Have You Ever Had A Nightmare Roommate?

(via blakeley)

sure have, had one once that got big onto trucker speed. i had gone to dinner with my folks and brother one night and we all stopped by the apartment afterwards and the kid started some shit and then spit beer on my mom and dad and swiveled to take a swing at me with a beer bottle. my brother pounced like a linebacker and slammed him through the back window in the kitchen much like a freight train, i rushed and took him out at the knees to drop the guy and then armlocked him hard enough to break one of his fingers while my dad dropped his knee onto the kid’s neck to keep him from thinking about squirming. the neighbor chick poked her head into the broken window from the back deck and said she was gonna call the cops on us, to which i replied “no shit. hurry up and call the damn cops.” so the cops showed up, we unpinned the kid, and the officer said “yeah, i know this one here. i picked him up for dui two weeks ago, he’s a belligerent little prick.”

ya just don’t spit beer on my folks, ya know?

i’ve had some other asshole roommates (one guy thought beating his girlfriend was an ok thing to do, another one was on paxil and he’d get it in him to start drinking  once in a while…we’d end up having to lock him in the garage until the next afternoon), but i think that one takes home the prize.